Voiceless
by Kitty Cullen-03
Summary: Psychiatrist Edward Cullen is assigned to a difficult case involving a Jane Doe who can't speak. She needs to find her words. AH/AU
1. Chapter 1

**Okay guys-for those of you who follow me, this story will probably disappoint you. I'm straying from my normal Jasper/Bella comfort zone to try my hand at an Edward/Bella story. Fair warning.**

**Thanks a caboodle to CatieLardin and booty492 for doing this so fast for my impatient butt. So...be gentle. I'm going canon. For a minute, anyway.**

**This is only a prologue, hence the shortness. Give it a try. tell me what you think.**

I always hated the smell of the institution. The cleanliness, the structure, the white walls-all of it was a nightmare to the senses. I walked in and stopped to chat, briefly, with the orderly manning the front desk. She smiled politely and handed me the file, which I flipped open in the lobby while waiting for the Attending to brief me.

_Doe, Jane_

_Police officers found her wandering out of the woods, clearly distressed. Appearance indicated that she had been there several days. Officers attempted to discover what had happened, victim wouldn't speak. She had no ID on her. After an unsuccessful attempt to get a statement, law enforcement officials determined that she may be a danger to herself. Victim was brought here on April 21__st__, 2005. Age was estimated to be 17-18 years. _

_Issues/Complications: Mute._

Five years. Jane Doe, as they called her, had been here for five years, and nobody had managed to discover a single thing about her. No name, nothing about her past, not a single word. The hospital called me in because I had handled a similar case in the past, and they thought that perhaps I could do this young woman some good. I wouldn't know if there was a chance of that until I got in to see her. It was only a few minutes later when, who I assumed was the Attendant, came out to greet me.

"Dr. Cullen-thank you so much for coming. The patient is just down here; follow me." He leads me to a set of double doors, swiping his card and pushing them open quickly. "I'm not sure if you'll be able to get through to her-nobody has been so lucky since she got here-but we know you have a history of cases like this, and it's worth a try." He was walking briskly; eager, I assumed, to get this started. It didn't look like I'd be getting much of a briefing from him. I supposed that there probably wasn't much _to _brief, if all attempts at speech coercion had failed.

We reached the end of the hall, and he pointed to the door on the left. "She's in here. Please, take your time…she's very docile. If you need anything, please just let me know." He pushed the door open, motioned for me to enter, and left. _Docile_. He referred to her as if she was an animal. I couldn't blame the girl at the moment for not wanting to speak to him. I let my eyes drift around the room slowly; white dresser, no pictures on the wall, no flowers, nothing. The girl had nothing. I wasn't prepared for what I found when I actually looked upon the girl I was here to see. I was expecting to find a blank expression greeting me; one that I had seen so many times before. Instead, I find a girl with long chestnut brown hair and wide brown eyes looking at me expectantly. Her lips curled up into a half-smile, and her hand raised to wave an informal greeting. _She's quite responsive_, I thought to myself as I sat in the chair next to her bed. She watched my every movement, tilting her head to the side and bringing her legs up to fold underneath her as I sat.

"I wish I knew your name, I'd like to know what to call you," I said, watching her facial expressions change. She raised her eyebrows and pursed her lips. "I suppose I'll have to call you Jane, since that's what they label you as. Jane Doe. I'm Dr. Edward Cullen. So Jane, I suppose you know why I'm here?" She nodded. "Jane, you don't belong here-I can tell." She actually quirked her eyebrow at me, as if to say 'that's not going to work on me'. "Don't look at me like that. It's true. All I needed was one look at you to know that. They'll let you out of here. All you have to do is speak." I watched her expectantly. Her eyes met mine and the look in them was so beautifully desperate that I had to hold back a gasp. She was telling me that she _wanted_ to. She just _couldn't._ Her eyes pleaded with me to understand. To let it go.

This girl was desperate for help.

She just didn't know how to get it.

_Jane Doe's POV_

_It's cold in here; I wish they'd just turn the heat on and be done with it. I can hear people in the hallway, they're getting pretty close to my room. Fantastic. Probably another doctor for me. You would think after five years they'd just give up and let me go. My door was pushed open-thanks for knocking, by the way-and the regular guy and a new guy walked in. Holy Hell, this guy is not bad looking at all! That hair is nice…and the body isn't too shabby…not at all. I watched the regular guy walk out of the room and leave me with the new guy. He gives me the normal speech: Wish I knew your name, I'm blah blah blah, do you know why I'm here? I tell him, in the only way I know how, that Yes, I get this. I am not new to this procedure. Please carry on, Dr. Cullen. Dr. Edward. Dr. whatever I decide to call you. _

_He goes on about how I don't belong here, and all I have to do is talk! Well no shit Sherlock, I thought you were a doctor! I tell him that I know. It's not going to work. If it worked, it would have worked by now. _

_All I have to do is speak. I look at him and tell him that my _God _I wish I could, but I can't! I try and tell him that I really, really want to, but it's just not going to happen. I just…can't. He sees it in my eyes, I know he does, because he backs off. He's not going to give up though, I can see that much in him. Well, Dr. Edward, it's your loss. I've got all the time in the world._

_I doubt you do._

_I'm a lost cause._

_I have no words._


	2. Hypnotized

**Thanks, guys, for such a wonderful response! Those of you, my Jasper girls, I really appriciate you giving this a shot, even though it's not your usual. This chapter is longer than the last, but not as long as I wanted. But I didn't want to cram too much in it, and you'll see why. The further we go with the story, the longer the chapters will be.**

**Thanks, CatieALardin and booty492, for being so great. They rock my beta world. **

**Edward**

I looked over the notes I took on Jane Doe, growing more and more puzzled with each line. She clearly wanted to communicate. She was, by observation, intelligent and understanding. There wasn't anything physical that was preventing her from speaking, and even if there was, why wouldn't she write it down? I could only conclude that whatever had happened to her had just destroyed that part of her completely, effectively preventing her from all forms of telling communication. What also bothered me was that why wasn't a missing persons report filed on her? How could _no one_ miss her? It's as if this girl appeared at out nowhere. _What happened to her?_ I asked myself over and over. She didn't seem to be damaged, but clearly the wounds ran deep. I ran a hand through my hair; I hated to be this puzzled. I sat down and went through all the documents again, making sure I've missed nothing. I poured over the missing person's list-nothing. I went through police records for all the towns in the surrounding area where she was found-nothing.

Nothing.

_Nothing._

It was like she didn't even exist. And yet, she did-she was educated, she understood me-she wasn't some feral human picked up on the outskirts of a town, long since abandoned. She had been someone's daughter. I would hazard to guess that she had gone to school. I found that I was more puzzled as to where she came from, then why she wasn't speaking; if I knew one, I would know the other. Letting out a frustrated sigh, I got up and headed to the kitchen, intent on doing something besides staring at my computer screen. I didn't normally drink, but I felt that this situation called for a glass of scotch. For a brief moment, I considered turning down the case, just on the pure fact that it was already consuming me. After I downed the first glass, I wondered something. Had all of this woman's therapists been men? It was a small straw, but I was grasping. I headed back to my files and checked quickly-I was right. All men. Pursing my lips, I picked up my phone and dialed. I had worked with a therapist once, on a joint case, who not only dealt with lost memories, but suffered from it herself. She remembers nothing prior to the age of 15.

"_Hello?_" her voice echoed on the other end of the line.

"Alice, its Edward. I was wondering if you'd consider looking over a case with me?" I waited as she considered.

"_Tell me about it."_ Her business-like voice rang through, and I knew she would. I gave her a brief overview of what I had read, and of the brief encounter I had with her, and then explained that all her therapists had been men.

"I know it's reaching, but I'm willing to try. Perhaps you could connect with her-she's responsive and understanding."

"_I'll see what I can do. When is your next appointment with her?"_ She asked.

"Tomorrow at two pm. Can you be there? If so, I'll get there early, explain to her what's happening." Another breath on her end as she thought it over.

"_I'll be there. Fax me what you have so far so I can familiarize myself with the case, and I will see you tomorrow at 2." _She hung up, and I did as she asked, immediately faxing her what I had. I felt better; maybe this was a step in the right direction. I decided to call it a night, turning in early and heading to bed.

**Jane-the next day**

_I knew I had an appointment with Dr. McSexyPants today, and I wasn't sure how I felt about it. He had the look-the one that said he wasn't going to give up. I hated to be the one to finally give all his hard work the boot, because I wasn't fixable. But on the other hand, he was nice to look at, and that was a fun change. So I'd sit here, and tell him in the only way I can, that he's not going to do a damn bit of good but thanks for trying. Just like all of them. I was resigned to the fact that either I would never get out of here, or they'd finally get tired of me and release me-just so I could live on the street forever. I couldn't work. I couldn't do anything. I was hopeless. I knew that if I did get out of here, I'd be in even worse shape than I'm in right now. Where would I go? I knew what I _wanted_ to do. I wanted to make friends, have a life, go to college. All the things I'd never have._

_I waited for two pm, lurking around my room and pulling my hair in different styles and changing clothes, because I was excited. Finally, the door creaked open, and the regular guy motioned Dr. McSexyPants in, and hot damned if he wasn't still as beautiful. He smiled at me and took the seat across from my bed, and I grinned like an idiot._

"_Hello, Jane. How are you today?" he asked, smiling all the while. I raise my eyebrows and smile, like it's all good here in the crazy house! "Jane, I've got someone coming in today, someone to talk to you. I think you'll like her. Her name is Dr. Alice Brandon, and she's got experience with people who aren't able to communicate. She deals a lot with people who've lost their memories, or parts of them. She, herself, doesn't remember anything before age fifteen. Is that okay?" he asked, questioning me with his eyes. I shrugged, nodding my head. Sure, why not? They've never sent a chick in here before. It might be a nice change. And the fact that her last name wasn't Cullen was not lost on me. He smiled again. "Good. She'll be here soon. Would you like me to go, or stay while she is here? It's up to you." Go? Why the hell would I tell him to go? I pleaded with him a little, telling him not to go. "Okay. I'll be here-but I'll stay on the other side of the room. If I feel like you're holding out because I'm here, I will leave. Understand?" I nodded. He mulled around, asking me questions that I answered in the best way I could until there was another knock on the door. The regular guy let in a small woman with short black hair and glasses. I was taller than her, and that was saying something. She smiled brightly at me and headed over to shake my hand._

"_Hello! I'm Dr. Brandon. How are you today?" she asked, and I was glad that she didn't tack on the Jane that everyone else called me. I gave her the 'I'm about as good as I can be face,' and she nodded. "I'm going to tell you a little bit about me before we get started. I'm sure Dr. Cullen told you what I do?" I nodded again. "Good. I'm going to tell you why, and then I'll discuss with you what I'd like to try." I stared at her, waiting for her to continue. _

**Edward**

"When I was around fifteen years old, I woke up in the woods. I don't know how I got there, or why. And I say around fifteen because I can't be certain; the doctors just estimated that was how old I was at the time. I didn't know my name, my parent's names, where I was from-I was almost a blank slate. I could speak, but I didn't know what to say. I didn't have the answers that they were looking for. I literally had to build my whole life. I chose this name, because I liked the way it sounded. That day they found me in the woods? That was day one for me. I had basic life skills, a general education, and nowhere to go. I was put into foster care until I was 18, I was home schooled, and it was very difficult for me to get into college. But I did." Alice stopped then, to take a deep breath and assess how Jane was taking the story. It was always hard for her, no matter how many times she told it. Jane was watching her with wide eyes, her brow furrowed as she devoted all of her attention to Alice. She sucked in another breath before continuing. "I had nothing. I am my only family. I have tried….everything…to get back what I lost. But nothing has worked. I spend my life trying to help people get back what I've lost. I will help you, any way I can so that you can get back what _you've_ lost." At this point, she took Jane's hands in hers, and looked into her eyes. She was speaking with her like Jane spoke with everyone else.

And Jane was crying.

I was amazed. She had connected with her already; it was a step in the right direction. Alice gave her a sweet smile. "Jane, here's the first thing I'd like to try. I want to try hypnotism. It's one of the easiest ways to tap into the unconscious mind. Would that be okay with you?" Jane looked at her with teary eyes and nodded. "I know that one of your other doctors tried this on you and it didn't work, but I think maybe it's time to try again. I'm going to ask Dr. Cullen to step out of the room, because I don't want him to distract you, but he'll be right outside the door. Is that alright?" Again, Jane nodded. This time, Alice rounded on me. "Outside, if you please, Edward. I'll come get you when I'm finished. I'll be recording the entire experience for both of our records." I had nothing to say, so I just nodded and went to sit in the chair outside of Jane's room. The door clicked behind me, and I rested my head against the back of the chair. I hoped this would work, but I had my doubts. Hypnotism was always the first choice for her, not only because it did work sometimes but also because it can gauge how deep the issue is ingrained. I could only hear Alice's muffled voice inside the room, growing steadily softer until it was only a murmur. I closed my eyes and drifted while Alice worked. She had worked on so many cases, told her story so many times…but each time, it was hard on her. She wanted, so desperately, to remember her life, to remember anything. Just like Jane, there were no missing persons filed on women fitting her appearance. Nobody knew where she originated from. At this point, we weren't sure if Jane just didn't remember, or simply _refused_ to communicate what had happened to her. Maybe it was a combination of both. Her mind was protecting her from something; protecting her from telling what happened. The question was why. My mind drifted further away as Alice worked, and I was no longer paying attention to what was going on in the room.

Then Jane screamed.


	3. Dictionary

**Howdy ho, guys! Thanks for giving me such a great response, and I hope you keep enjoying this story. I hope I start to answer more questions as we go along, and never hesitate to tell me what you think in reviews!**

**Thanks to CatieLardin for taking time away from her vacation to do this for me, and to booty492 for getting nitty gritty with my grammar! Both these girls rule me.**

Edward

I practically threw myself through the door, stopping short while Alice hovered over Jane. She was attempting to break her out of her hypnosis. Within moments, Jane's eyes were fluttering open and she was looking around in confusion. "Alice, what happened?" my voice was a little higher than normal.

"I don't know. It's not normal, whatever's happened. I had just brought her down, and I was attempting to coax her subconscious forward…I asked her to try and remember her parents. I asked her if she could tell me anything about them. And then she started screaming. I've…never seen it happen before." Alice's eyes were still trained on Jane, who was slowly looking more like herself. "Jane…can you remember anything? What made you scream?" She asked, and for a second I thought she might answer. Her mouth popped open and a small crease formed between her eyes. She let out a sigh and shook her head. Alice's shoulders slumped forward, and I could tell she was disappointed. "You really don't remember anything?" Jane's lips pursed and she shook her head again. Alice turned to me. "I'm going to do some more research. I'll come back in about a week with a new tactic." She nodded before leaving the room, clearly upset. She didn't like to fail, but I did warn her this was going to be a difficult case.

After Alice left the room, I went to sit in the chair and face the bed. She met my eyes with an expectant look, raising her eyebrows. "You scared me, little one," I told her, and she frowned. Her hands opened in front of her, prompting me for more information. "Alice was working her magic on you, while I waited outside, and the next thing I know, you're screaming your head off. Scared me to death." I gave her a little smile. Her face went from puzzled to shocked in two seconds flat and she pointed to herself. "You screamed; loud and high pitched, like you were terrified. That ring a bell to you?" I prodded, hoping maybe it would trigger something. She swallowed; it was like she was trying to taste her voice. I saw her concentrate for a minute before shaking her head 'no' again. I tried not to let my disappointment show, but I'm certain she saw. She gave me a weak, small smile in apology. "Would you mind if we tried something? Do you feel up for it?" She shrugged and nodded.

"We're going to try some relaxation techniques. Sometimes for people with a condition called Selective Mutism, that works. I know that your condition runs deeper, but it would be worth exploring, if it's alright with you." She nodded again. I stood up and crossed the room, opening the blinds to the barred window and turning the lights off. I was going to relax her, almost to the point of hypnosis, and stop. Sometimes when patients were able to completely relax, their subconscious would relax as well, opening up new possibilities. Generally this would take several sessions with the same therapist, and it was a long shot with her, but I was willing to try. Perhaps this in combination with whatever Alice came up with and her regular therapy with me, we could have a breakthrough. I sat down across from her again. "Now, if you'd like, lie back on the bed. Find a comfortable position." She complied, lying first on her back and then curling up to face me in the fetal position. This was defensive, but I allowed it. Granted, it accentuated her exceptional waistline…_whoa._ Patient. _Focus, Cullen. _

"Now, I want you to try and empty your mind again, like you did with Alice. Just focus on the sound of my voice. Just open your mind, let me in. Relax. Regulate your breathing; focus on the breaths pushing in and out of your lungs. Focus on the rhythm. That's it. Good girl." She was breathing slowly, and I could practically see the tension leave her body. She looked peaceful, and again I had a hard time believing the issues that had found her. "I want you to push some air out through your mouth-use force." I heard her do it-a soft huffing sound. "Very good. Now, do it again, only this time, try to make a sound. Just a little one-no words." I saw a frown furrow her forehead. "Don't fret, if you can't do it, its fine. Just try for me." Her expression was concentrated as she sucked in a deep breath. When she exhaled, it came out as a squeak. Better than nothing. "Great! See, you did it! Try again, this time trying to give a little form to your breath." She was capable of speech; it was a matter of letting _her_ make the decision, not her body. She had to overcome whatever subconscious block was fighting against her. I heard her suck in a breath again, but this time when she exhaled nothing came out. Her bottom lip pushed out in a pout, and I couldn't help but smile. "That's okay. We can try again later. Right now, why don't you go ahead and sit up; I have something else." She sat up and eyed me warily. I reached to the floor and pulled a book out of my briefcase. _50,000+ Baby Names._ Her eyebrows shot up and she looked up at me, clearly surprised. I smiled. "I want to see if you can pick out your name for me. I'd love to know what to call you." Her face expressed that she was impressed, and clearly I was amazed that nobody had bothered to try this with her yet. Why wouldn't they? It was plausible. She could read. She may not want to write, but she could point to the words on a page. I handed her the book.

I watched her flip through it for a minute, her eyes grazing the pages as she tried to find the right one. She settled on a page, scanned it, and then held it out to me. I was actually nervous with anticipation; for what reason I didn't know. I took the book and left it open on the page she set it at, and waited. Scooting a little closer to me, she ran her finger down the page and finally stopped.

_Isabella._

"Your name is Isabella." I stated, grinning again. She shook her head yes, then no. She pointed again, this time to the last half of the word.

_Bella._

"You like to be called Bella." Her eyes lit up and she smiled. Really smiled. And I was happy with her, because now I had a name. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Bella." I stuck my hand out for her to shake. She rolled her eyes, grinning like an idiot as she shook my hand.

Bella

_Holy fucking Christ, this guy was a genius. When he whipped out that baby name book, I thought he wanted to knock me up until he explained what he wanted. And it was pure FREAKING GENIUS. Seriously. I've been in therapy for how long now, and NOBODY has bothered with this? I was giddy as I scanned through and found my name, happily pointing it out to him. He said Isabella at first, and I was quick to correct him. Not to mention pleased at how quick he picked up on the fact that I was pointing to the last part of the name. Then introduced himself to me, and shook my hand and I swear to the baby Jesus that I felt like I stuck my finger in an electrical outlet. Was it wrong that I just wanted to keep his hand in mine and crawl in his lap? It probably was. That's not part of the therapy, last I checked. But I bet he could make me scream…_

_I blame his hair on these inappropriate thoughts. It was there, perched on the top of his head, looking like it had been molested by his pillow and loving every second of it. Lucky pillow. _

_He was still grinning like an idiot when he let go of my hand, and a part of me was glad that he was as pleased as I was. I was pretty sure I wanted him to say my name again. Funny how I could remember my name. Wonder why that is? Now that he got my name out of me, I wondered what other tricks he had up his sleeve. I wasn't surprised in the slightest when he pulled out a dictionary. I groaned-internally of course. He was gonna make me communicate. I couldn't very well argue with him, he knew I could point out words now. I gave him my 'I know what you're up to' look, and he laughed again._

"Bella, if you could, take this dictionary and tell me something. Tell me what happened." _He was serious now, I could see the little wrinkle in between his eyes. A part of me wanted to tell him not to think too hard, and the other part wanted to rub my thumb over the wrinkle and smooth it away. So maybe the two parts were related. Begrudgingly, I took the stupid dictionary and started flipping through it. He had a notebook ready for what I pointed out. I should have just told him he was going to be sorely disappointed. I scrolled and pointed out 'I' and "can't.' _"Why is that, Bella?" _I shrugged and went back through, pointing out 'I don't remember'. His face fell. Told you he was going to be disappointed. Thing was, I really _couldn't _remember. Whenever I walked out of the woods those years ago, all I knew was my name and that I had just come from the woods. _"Tell me what you do know then. Anything."_ What the hell kind of question is that? It's tedious, searching through a dictionary and spelling shit out. I tried to think of something snarky to say. When I looked up, he was watching me with a pretty intense look on his face, and then I wanted to say something flirty. In hindsight, that probably wouldn't have been the best idea. I actually liked this guy, wouldn't want him to put me away longer for sexual harassment. I dug through the book again until I spelled out 'my favorite color is blue.' He laughed-loud. I shrugged my shoulders as if to say 'what did you expect?' _

"Funny, Bella. So is mine. But I meant for you to tell me something about your past. Try again, please." _His tone was serious, but humor was dancing behind his eyes. I scrolled through and pointed out 'I don't remember anything before the woods.' He sighed. _"You're more like Alice than I thought." _This time, I took the dictionary of my own accord._

'_Alice never remembered.'_

"You're right, she didn't. But she's helped many others remember, and if anyone can help you with it, it would be her." _I was suddenly overcome with an irrational fear that, now he knew I couldn't remember, he'd turn me over to Alice completely. While I liked her, I didn't want to stop seeing him. I took the book._

'_Are you going to quit counseling me?' I asked, fear in my eyes. _

"No, I'm not. You're still a mute, Bella. It's my job to help you get your voice back. Perhaps between Alice and myself, we can give you back everything. I have hopes, now that we've made a slight breakthrough. I can't make any promises, don't get your hopes up, but we're going to try."_ I nodded and sighed in relief. I didn't want him to go. He babbled on a little more about how he wanted to help, and that he was going to conference with Alice to see what they could do together, as well as separately, before I started scrolling through the book again. He stopped and watched, waiting for me to stop on words so he could write them down._

'_What the hell do you put in your hair?' I asked, because I pretty much had to. I mean…look at it. He read the words over again before looking at me incredulously. _

"Seriously? You don't talk to anyone in years and you're asking about my hair-care products?" _he barked a laugh._ "In all honesty, it doesn't take much. Shampoo, conditioner, and a little bit of styling gel. Barely enough to make a difference. If I were to leave the gel out, it would pretty much do the same thing. It's pretty unruly." _Wow, dude really loved his hair. I wonder if he named it. I wondered if I had hair like that. _

'_I like it.' And smiled at him, trying to come off as un-slutty as possible. He smiled back._

"Thank you. Your hair's not so bad either." _I really wanted to laugh._


	4. The Meadow

**Many thanks to my lovely beta's, booty492 and CatieLardin. These girls own my happy ass. I've been busy with some other projects, hence the delay, so you have my apologies. I Hope you enjoy it. Also, I own nothing.**

Bella

_Edward gave me some magazines earlier this week-a ton of them. He told me I could go through and tear out words and letters if I wanted, to start keeping a journal or to write letters, or for pretty much anything. As far as I was concerned right now, this guy was a damn genius. Seriously-nobody else thought of this? Of course, he had to get clearance to give me scissors, but I'm not considered a threat, so I got them. I was clipping happily, just random words at the moment until I decided what it was I wanted to 'write.' Dr. Awesome would be showing up sometime today, so my goal was to have something on paper for him by the time he shows. What? I didn't know. I thought about maybe a poem, or just a letter, but what would I write to him about? "Oh hey, I think you're smokin' hot and I dream about your hair." Somehow I didn't think that was what he was looking for. I know he was hoping for some history or something, but like I said, I got nothing. I stared at the words and letters scattered on my bed and thought, trying to figure out what I wanted to say. Suddenly, I knew. I scrambled with my glue stick and paper, only using a fraction of things I'd cut out, but it was enough. He would probably laugh at me, but it was worth a shot. After I was finished, I lay on my bed and waited for him to show up._

_A couple hours later, there was a knock on my door. I sat up and turned, smiling expectantly-what the hell was that about anyway? He was my therapist. That was all. Keep it in your pants, Bella. He greeted me warmly and sat down in the chair in my room._

"How are you today, Bella?" _he asked, pulling out his little notebook. I shrugged. Nothing fancy here. I wasn't going to pull out the paper until he asked. _"I have something I'd like to do today, if that's alright with you."_ I motioned for him to continue. _"I want to take you to the woods you were found."_ Okay, _that_ was unexpected. Was I scared of this? A little. But why? Would I remember something? Would they trigger whatever'd been hiding inside me? I had my doubts. "_Alice is going to come with us, if you agree to go. What do you say?" _Well, why the hell not. I nodded a yes to him and stood up. At the very least, it was going to be a chance for me to leave the hospital, and that was something I hadn't done in…ever. Outside. Oh boy! He must have sensed my eagerness, because he was laughing. _"Excited, are we?"_ He chuckled. I gave him a look that clearly said 'smartass,' and walked to the door, waiting for him to lead the way. _

_The drive was nice-I wondered if this car was his. It was a Mercedes. It was pretty. The trees were lovely, the air smelled amazing. I practically had my head hanging out the window like a dog the whole time. Each time I'd look over at Edward, he'd be watching me, smiling. He must have found my utter glee to be amusing. Well, he may be able to go outside every day, but this was a damn vacation to me. He could laugh all he wanted. I had guessed Alice would be meeting us there, since she wasn't at the hospital when we left. He must have thought I might say no or something. We pulled into a parking lot on the outskirts of town and walked towards the head of a trail. A few minutes later, another car pulled up and Alice climbed out. She greeted me and Edward…we're on first name basis now?...and turned to the woods._

"Anything look familiar yet, Bella?" _she asked as I took in my surroundings. The first thing that I recognized was the clearing. I pointed. _"That's the clearing where they found you wandering. Let's start there." _She walked in that direction as the two of us followed. I remembered this. Just walking, not knowing anything, anyone, anywhere. The police found me soon after. To me, this was where my life began. I closed my eyes and just breathed, trying to get a handle on this. I know they wanted a breakthrough; I wanted to give it to them. I was probably the most cooperative patient in the history of ever. I tried to block everything out. I could hear their breathing, waiting for me to make a move. Bless them for not pushing me. I decided to just let my instincts take over. I wasn't going to think. I was just going to do. With my eyes open, I started to walk forward, towards the woods. I let my feet take me there, not my mind. I could hear Edward and Alice behind me, following quietly. _

_I don't know how long I walked. But when I stopped, in a little, beautiful clearing, I realized something._

_I knew this place._

_I _remember._ I remember seeing this place, and it was like there was something on the forefront of my mind…_

_A man! I remember a man! I can't remember his name, but he had dark skin….and whatever he did….was bad. The feelings connected to these almost-memories were bad. Very bad. Like something was crawling over my skin. I didn't like it. And it scared me. I knew though, that whatever happened to me wasn't good. But to feel it…even just a little bit of it…I shivered. _

"Bella?"_ I heard Edward's voice behind me. This was big-he would want to know. I spun on him and tried to show him with my eyes that this was something important. Thank God he caught on. "_What is it? What do you remember?" _My fingers were moving and my hands were waving but I didn't have a book or my letters to tell him. "_Let's go back now." _YES! That's the right answer. I followed him and Alice out of the clearing. She was pleased, too, even if it was just a little something. She hadn't said much, but I'd hazard to say that the whole 'go back to the forest' thing was her idea. As soon as we were back in my room, I grabbed the pile of words and letters and started laying them out on my bed._

I remember a man.

_That was what I 'wrote'. He considered it, turned to Alice, and then back to me. _"What about him? What exactly did you feel or think?"_ I sighed only because this was going to take me a while. I lifted my finger in a 'give me a minute' gesture and started to work. It took me just a bit, but the two of them waited patiently while I did my thing._

He had dark skin. And long hair. Whatever happened was bad. I felt bad. Scared and uncomfortable and like I had to run away but I don't remember why.

_Edward and Alice nodded and shared what seemed to be a silent conversation. This time, it was Alice that spoke up. _"Do you think if we go back, maybe go a little further, you'll remember more? Would you like to try?" _I nodded yes, because it was worth a try! _"I'll come back in two days, and we can all go again. Right now, I'll let you finish your session with Edward." _She smiled and walked out of the room, and then it was just me and Edward. _

"So Bella. Did you want to talk more about what you remembered? Or did you want to discuss something else?"_ I thought about this for a minute. I raised two fingers to indicate I wanted to move on, and he nodded. "_Okay then. Did you write anything for me?" _I nodded, grinning, and pulled the paper out and slid it to him. He smiled when he read it._

Tell me about yourself.

Edward

_Tell me about yourself._ This silly girl who couldn't speak, who'd been through something traumatic, wanted to know about me. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't just a little bit blown away. I couldn't say no, really. There was no harm in telling her a little bit about myself, if it would help her feel more comfortable with me. And when I looked over and saw her staring at me with wide brown eyes, I knew I was sold.

"Your wish is my command," I told her, and she smiled. _She was so pretty._ Whoa. Slow down. She was my client. She's probably just curious-I would be. "I was born in Chicago. Both my parents are therapists, so it was a natural pathway for me. They would have supported me with whatever I wanted to do, but this was what I wanted. I love it. If I can just help one person, I've done my job." She was still smiling. She raised her left hand and wiggled her ring finger. It took me a moment to realize that she wanted to know if I was married or not. "Nope. I'm not, and I never have been. Just haven't found that right person yet. I hope to someday, but I'm in no hurry." I was surprised to see her blushing. I would consider that later. She reached over to her pile of letters and spelled something else out for me:

_What do you do for fun?_

Fun. Well, that was quite a bit harder. "I like to play the piano and compose music when I can, and I like to go for hikes. That's really it; I don't have a lot of time for 'fun'." This caused a little worry line to crease her forehead, like she was displeased. More words.

_You should have fun. I wish I could have fun._

This broke my heart. I didn't realize that all she had was this room; she never got to go anywhere, never did anything. And she was so normal. That's what struck me. _Normal._ When we were just talking like this, I almost forgot that she was my patient. She wasn't mentally incapable, she wasn't a danger to herself or anyone and she just needed a little bit of help. But didn't we all? I wanted to change that. Perhaps just a small change in her routine would help her out. I could take her somewhere.

"Would you like to go on a hike with me one day? I could get clearance to take you away for a day. I know of a few great trails, and we could stop for something to eat beforehand. I imagine it's been a while since you've had something besides hospital food." Her eyes were already shining, and she was smiling wider than I think I've ever seen her. I took this as confirmation, but she went ahead and pulled a word for me just to clarify.

_Please._

Like I would be giving her the best gift ever. My heart swelled; I told myself it was just because I was making her happy. Perhaps this would help her make a little bit of progress. That was it.

"How about tomorrow? That will give you a break before we do some more work." More frantic nodding. Before I knew what she was doing, she was on her feet and throwing her arms around my shoulders. I froze. She was just showing me how happy she was. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out why I let my hands wrap around her in return. She pulled away from me, keeping her hands on my shoulders, and smiled. She mouthed words to me: _Thank you._ She seemed surprised that she did that, like it wasn't something she'd done before. "Why do you look surprised?" I asked. This time, she stood up, completely removing her arms from my presence as my arms fell from her waist. She walked back over to her bed and spelled it out for me.

_I've never done that before. It was like almost talking._

Well then. That's something. "What brought it on?" I pressed.

_I was so happy. I just did it._

A subconscious response-interesting. "We'll talk about that more in a couple days. In the meantime, I'll see you tomorrow morning. I need to go and get clearance from the department head, and then it's time for me to go home." The girl actually pouted. She was sad that I was leaving. The professional part of me told me this was a bad thing, but I wasn't listening. I was happy if she was happy. I needed to go.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Bella." She smiled and waved, and I let myself out. I needed to get a handle on myself. I couldn't touch her. I shouldn't have let her touch me. And I definitely shouldn't have been thinking of how soft she was and how wonderful she smelled.


End file.
